Rolling Up The Coast

I'm in Seaside this morning, enjoying a cup of "Bad Ass Coffee" (my verdict: an entirely acceptable drip coffee,* although judging by the grumblings in my intestine I'm starting to fear that the coffee was named after something other than the many donkeys pictured in the coffee shop). Today's plan is a visit to Laguna Seca, a drop-by at my old company's office in Marina, and some state parks and wineries in the Santa Cruz mountains.

*To avoid any misunderstandings: this is at the upper range of my ratings for brewed coffee. My coffee taste has not reached the point where I can distinguish flavors as with wine, and I sometimes get the feeling that people who say that they can are just bullshitting. It's coffee. It's black, and hot, and it has that wonderful smell that makes weekend mornings complete, and it has caffeine. I've never had a cup of coffee that I considered to be spectacular, just a whole lot of coffees that I considered "pretty good." My coffee ranges from *absolute crap* -- the sort I think you have to work to make so bad, taking bad beans, roasting them in a garbage incinerator, tearing a big hole in the filter, and then leaving overnight in a commercial-grade pot in a truck stop somewhere -- to *acceptable.* Most coffee is acceptable. It takes very little effort to raise coffee from *absolute crap* to this level, but it takes an inordinate amount of energy and ingredients to make it better than *acceptable.* Also, I grew up on coffee milk and Dunkin Donuts, so I always drown my coffee in milk and sugar. That's how I like it, and presumably it makes it harder to reach some gourmet pinnacle of coffee experience.

I don't consider myself a racer, and my little Subaru is a far cry from its WRX STi rally brethren. Also, it's so full of camping supplies and assorted crap that I fear any attempt at racing would bury me in an avalanche of sleeping bags and trail mix. I still can dream, though, and I know that Laguna Seca raceway is one of the more famous in the country (at least for those race fans who realize that there's more to life than turning left for hundreds of laps at a time). I've seen old F1 races, and I've seen the horror that is "the Corkscrew." Also, it's only ten miles away and is exactly the sort of place that I like to visit on my roadtrips.

I'm also excited about the Santa Cruz mountains, although from what I hear these days there is a good-sized forest fire burning things up in the hills north of the city. This could cause problems. I may have to make a slight detour east and instead visit Gilroy, the garlic capital of the world. After all, I do need to ensure my safety against vampires on this trip.

Paso Robles turned out to have some pretty good wines, and it was mercifully free of the stratospheric "tasting fees" that have infected the more popular parts of Napa and Sonoma. I remember feeling really relaxed as I turned my way up the coast. I stopped by Elephant Seal Beach to see the juvenile elephant seals come to sleep on the beach and molt their winter coats. Elephant seals fall into that small category of animals that are so comically ugly that you can't help but feel some love for them. Essentially, take a seal and fatten it up to manatee-like proportions -- and then give it a nose like Gonzo from "The Muppet Show." They were as cute as 500-pound sea monsters could be.

After a night on the coast, watching the sun set over the Pacific, I got a bit of hiking in -- Manuel Peak in Big Sur. It's a lovely mountain, with some spectacular views of the sea and the coastal range, although the trail...well, the trail sucked. Hiking trails can fall into disrepair in two ways: either the trail is overused and erodes into a muddy ditch, or the trail is underused and bushes overgrow the sides, creating a gauntlet of surprisingly sharp foliage.

This trail was the latter. I started out appreciating the amazing fragrance of the coastal bushes and flowers...and eight miles later, on my way out, I was cursing every plant within scratching distance and stomping on poor little flowers whose only crime was to have taken root next to the trail. It is my firm belief that the person in charge of maintaining that trail be taken out back and beaten with a hose.

...

But I got over it. I visited the Monterey Aquarium in the afternoon, which I heartily recommend to anyone who ever finds themselves in the area. It has a fantastic variety of marine life, well-designed exhibits, and is extremely kid-friendly. The aquarium is crammed with buttons, levers, tunnels, touch pools, video games, noisemakers, and all sorts of hands-on exhibits to keep kids' attention. Or my attention. It was a lot of fun.

The aquarium is also famed for its otters. Otters are awesome.

-deuce-